How to Get Your Very Own Uterus

Pictured: crocheted uterus with adorable smiley face.

If you do not know how to knit or crochet, but would like a uterus anyway, please email me, and I may be able to make one on commission.

There are a variety of knit and crochet patterns available for free on the web:

Knit:
Uterus
Womb

Crochet:
Happy Uterus
Uterus Menstrual Cup Cozy
Ursula Uterus


Or you can make mine!* This is the first pattern I've ever written. I tested it myself, which is no guarantee that it's 100% mistake free, so if you see any problems or corrections that need to be made, please let me know.

Gratuitous Uterus Pattern

Materials:
Lion Brand Nature’s Choice Organic Cotton, Strawberry (3oz/85g, 103 yd/94 m) or other chunky yarn
Size K/10 ½ /6.50mm needle
Stitch marker
Tapestry needle
Fiber fill (or stuffing of your choice)
Wire (for arms)--I used heavy floral wire
Eyes (doll eyes, buttons, beads, or black yarn will work)
Black yarn for mouth (and eyes, if desired)

Stitches (st) used in this pattern:
Chain (ch)
Slip stitch
Single crochet (sc)
Half double crochet (hdc)
Double crochet (dc)
Single crochet decrease (single crocheting two stitches together): sc2tog

Uterus is worked in amigurumi style, a continuous spiral, without joining the ends of rows. Use place marker to mark last stitch of round. 

Leaving a tail about 2 feet long, chain 12. Do not join with slip stitch. Tail length is important and will be used later.

Row 1: Join in circle by single crocheting in first chain. Be careful not to twist. Sc around (12)
Rows 2-3: sc in each stitch around. (12)
Row 4: *sc twice in next stitch, one sc in following stitch* repeat all the way around. (18)
Row 5: sc in each stitch around (18)
Row 6: *sc in next 2 st, 2sc in following st* around (24)
Row 7: sc in each stitch around (24)
Row 8: *sc in next 3 st, 2sc in following st* around. (30)
Row 9: sc in each stitch around (30)
Row 10: *sc in next 4 st, 2sc in following st* around (36)
Row 11: sc in each stitch around (36)
Row 12: *sc in next 5 st, 2sc in following st* around (42)
Row 13: *sc2tog first st, sc in following 5 st* around (36)
Row 14: sc in next st, sc2tog next st, *sc in following 4 st, then sc2tog* 5 times, sc in last 3 st   (30)
Row 15: sc in first 2 st, sc2tog, *sc in next 3 st, sc2tog* 5 times, sc in last st (24)
You may find it easier to add your filling now and crochet around it. Or you can stuff it in the bottom after finishing the body.
Row 16: *sc2tog, sc in next 2 st* around (18)
Row 17: *sc in next st, sc2tog* around (12)
Row 18: sc2tog around (6)
Row 19; sc2tog around (3)
Fasten off

Fill uterus with fiber fill (or choice of filling) to desired shape and density.

Using the beginning tail, close the bottom by pressing the two sides together and joining them with single crochets. (6) Fasten off.

Arms: worked amigurumi style; make two.
Ch 3
Row 1: Join in circle by single crocheting in first chain. Be careful not to twist. 2 sc in first ch, sc in following chains (4)
Row 2: 2 sc in first st, sc in following st (5)
Row 3: 2 sc in first st, sc in following st (6)
Rows 4-8: sc in each st around (6)
Row 9: hdc in first 3 st, sc in following st (6)
Row 10: dc in first 3 st, sc in following st (6)
Row 11: sc in first st, dc in next 3 st, sc in last 2 st (6)
Row 12: sc in first st, hdc in next 3 st, sc in last 2 st (6)
Row 13: sc in first 2 st, hdc in next 3 st, sc in last st (6)
Row 14: sc2tog three times (3)

Fronds: *sl st in next st, ch 6* around 6 times, sl st in final st. Fasten off.
Insert wire into arm.
Sew arms to body.
Sew on eyes and mouth as desired.

*This pattern is under copyright. You may use it to create items for personal use. You may sell any items you create using it, provided you link back to it. You may not sell the pattern itself.